The Weekly Date Roundup!

Ok, I’ve got a lil confession to make ~
I stayed in the shallow end for another week.

On the Tuesday morning of the scheduled 2nd date with the Librarian I woke with a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach.
The first thoughts one has when they wake up should not be dread for the upcoming evening’s date.
Which in turn caused me to argue with myself about not “being open”, closing off, yada yada ~ you can imagine this delightful conversation while still laying in bed, geez I mean what a way to start the day off…
And of course I couldn’t just drop it, I kept chattering to myself about it all morning.
Do I trust my gut?
Is my gut just acting like a silly lil girl?
If I’m feeling this way, is it even possible go into the date “open” to anything positive?
If I cancel, am I letting myself down?
How will I ever learn if I avoid experiences?
Am I avoiding?

This could go on & on, but I’ll spare you & just say
I cancelled the date.

I felt better physically after that,
but mentally I just felt safe (& not in a good way).
I was thankful for a busy week/weekend of ahead of work & time with friends that I could just throw myself in to…

Then while at a conference my perspective shifted.
I was busy still being right about how I handled the situation as told my tale to the ladies on Friday evening, but by some point Saturday afternoon I knew I needed to return his call & accept the 2nd 2nd date offer.
We had a fun, flirty conversation over the phone & set up for drinks on Monday.
I was open & excited.

Its hard to pinpoint exactly what caused the shift, but I knew if he directly asked 
why I didn’t feel we were a match, my answer would only reflect my 
fears of being vulnerable, not valid reasons.
It is the Year of Dating Fearlessly, time to walk the talk!

I am currently living in a new space of freedom as I am not employed full time on a tv series. Sure this brings up a lil anxiety financially, but it has also opened up an amazing window to live my life balanced & do things I enjoy!
So while the prior week was a mix of work & play, this last week was a week of play, which all focused around multiple dates & living creatively.
Totally awesome!

Monday night was the Canadian Librarian’s turn again & I was ready.

 I felt open to the adventure of getting to know him this time. We met for drinks at the Roosevelt Hotel, which has such a great old-Hollywood ambience. 
Yes we still debated & argued pretty much over every topic, but it was kinda fun. He is quite smart.

Due to a car issue of his, our date was in his neighborhood, which I didn’t mind since he chose a cool locale. Oh & by the way I got him to man up & actually plan the date instead of him putting it on me 😉

Since I was enjoying his company this round, when he suggested a night cap at his place, I figured why not, it seemed a lil early to cut the date short.
You’d think I’d be dating savvy enough to expect what he had in mind & I did, but I was amazed at how quick the moves happened! Damn!
Well, I’ll just say I got more practice in setting my boundaries.
I never blame a guy for trying, it in their DNA.
But by gosh, if it’s one thing I’ll rock at by the end in the dating game, it will be stating my needs & setting my boundaries!
Practice on!

3rd date is pending, as he’s out of town for the next week…
So while the cat’s away, this mouse is playing.

Date #2 for the week was a 1st date with a Cop from eHarmony.
Wasn’t sure how I felt about dating a cop cop, but his profile seemed interesting, pics were handsome, tall(!) & get this, lived only a block from me – that NEVER happens in LA!
He seemed to be a very “to the point” type of guy, not much for chatter about frivolous things, so I wasn’t sure what to expect connection-wise…
Staying open.
The plan was to meet at the Americana, a local open air mall with a ton of options, which was good since I didn’t know if it was dinner? Drinks? Coffee? A stroll?
Our meeting spot was to be at the large fountain in the center.
He had let me know he was already there, and as I get to the fountain, I’m looking around, all I see are families & couples, 
not a single man in sight.
Then I get this feeling I’m being watched.
I spin around, am I blind? I know he’s here…then I see a lone figure in the shadows along the wall of the Apple store – is that him? I can tell that person sees me looking at him, but I get no acknowledgment. I keep scanning the crowd, but move his direction, really hoping this wasn’t my date.
It was. In full stakeout mode.

I had visions of the Det. Stabler-style detective from Law & Order: SVU & I ended up with Sipowicz from NYPD Blue, minus the mustache.

I will never understand using old, inaccurate photos, it helps neither party involved.
Ok, so off to an awkward start from the get-go. We make a lap around the mall, with no plan forming. I’ll admit to expecting a cop to be the take charge type of guy, but I was wrong.
After one loop, we found ourselves at the corner facing a new restaurant, who’s signage is quite illegible, so I was commenting on that & wondered if he had been there or knew of it, trying to guide us somewhere.
We cross over, the menu seemed good, cool vibe but he wasn’t showing an interest.
He did finally suggest dinner if I was hungry & offered up the Indian restaurant next store.
There’s an Indian restaurant next door?
Apparently…in the basement.
Down the stairs we went to the completely empty, sparsely decorated Indian restaurant.
As we were the only customers there, we did get impeccable service & lucky for us we were in time for the early bird specials, so he ordered us a beer – to share!
Dinner was uneventful. 
I noticed early on he wasn’t ever making direct eye contact, so I started making it a game – he actually looked me in the eyes only 4 times!
He asked a lot about my experience with eHarmony. Then the past relationship questions came up.
Here is where I have to work on owning my limited relationship experience past. 
I need to devise a good response that that doesn’t leave me defending 
the “what’s wrong with you?” question. 
So I haven’t had a ton of long-term relationships, maybe that’s a good thing! 
Stop asking me why. 

We walked back to the Americana post-dinner & found seats by the fountain, where he then states “how stupid are the people who watch this, its just water, so lame”.
Its mesmerizing, its magical, its dancing freakin-water  – its beauty found in the most ordinary thing combined with the emotion of music – how can you not love it?
Thankfully he was “fading”, looked at his watch & at 7:48pm on a Friday night, we called time of death.

Date #3 sprung up kinda quickly.

Thursday evening while letting a girlfriend play Cyrano with my Tinder app, she reached out to Beach Guy.
Friday he & I are chatting. 
Turns out he’s from Manhattan Beach, but is passing through my area Saturday afternoon, so a coffee meet & greet it is.
Perfect lil squeeze in before my date that evening.
High energy, very talkative.
We both admit to the distance as an issue but are willing to give it a shot one more time, see if there’s anything…
why not, right? Fearless!
Date night this Wednesday…

Ahhhhh Date #4, the one I’ve been looking forward to happening, finally materialized –  Mr Second Time Around made a second appearance!
Funny thing about women, or well at least me, I don’t quite pick up where we left off if it’s been over a month. We had a lot of chemistry on our 1st date,
 but as the weeks went by I kinda forgot what it felt like. Its gotta be built back up.
So, when his texts were all sexual & he wanted to start the date at my place where we left off last, I knew more boundary practice was coming, sigh…

Traffic was looking bad between our places, which according to him was due to the Ducks-Kings game at Dodger Stadium. 
I wondered how gullible he thought I was, hockey at a baseball field??? 
Um yeah, turns out he was right…but of course I didn’t believe him until I saw for myself. 
Once he arrived I was quickly reminded of our chemistry. A breather needed to be taken, so to cool off  we decided to go grab some beers at the local brewery & watch the game

It was a fun date. I really enjoy hanging out with him, but I think that was probably it.
Between his boys & work, I get the impression a relationship falls low on the priority list…too bad, but I can’t settle for crumbs…

I’m a lil exhausted from a power week of dating. 
All nice guys. Any matches? We’ll see…


Hope your’s is off to a great start!!

Thought I’d share my horoscope for the year ahead, cuz it freakin rocks!
Even though I don’t put much stock in them, I enjoy reading mine every now & again, especially when they say gooooood things – thank you Refinery 29 😉
Illustrated by Emily Forgot

Pisces (February 19-March 20) You are in for one heckuva year, Pisces, so get ready. Romance, possible fertility, and even continued education is on your cards in 2014. Take this time to define your life and call your own shots, instead of letting others dictate your actions. The first half of the year will be exciting, but by July, things will have thankfully died down so you can settle and take it all in. The four eclipses this year will reshape your life in more ways than one from your mindset to the number of stamps on your passport.”

Woot woot!!

Ok, so last month I claimed 2014 as the year I was going to date fearlessly in my search for  love…
What does that mean?????
I’ll be honest my heart is racing a lil & my palms are sweaty as I type this.
When I had this brilliant plan, I hadn’t quite thought through the whole “facing my fears” part, hmmmmmm, on second thought…

Nope, no I’m gonna do it, I’m sticking to the plan!

Step 1 to dating fearlessly, one has to figure out what fear(s) are blocking her progress in the love dept.

For the first time ever in my 39 years , I’ve been actively casually dating, no one specific man has had all my attention & I’ve been enjoying it ~ I will say it is quite fun having such a busy social calendar.
Getting to know different personalities, trying on different like/dislikes, learning about a new restaurant or activity ~ all good!

Throughout my 20’s & most of my 30’s, the concept of dating was lost on me. 
Finding dates seemed impossible, online was hit or miss back then,
flirting? phffftt, what was that?
If I had a date, I was nervous & awkward.
2nd dates were not common.
So I’d just sit back & swoon over the men who weren’t interested, daydreaming of love…
This then lead to the long stretch of throwing myself into my career.

A few years into that & tired of being alone, I decided to make some changes and take a good long look at myself
~ my thoughts, my beliefs, my patterns ~
I was ready, I wanted to find love.
I got me a dating coach & got to work!
Yes, I was that clueless when it came to relationships & needed guidance.

My amazing coach, Marni*, after much work got me back out there dating 
& almost instantly a quality man showed up!
Magic I tell ya, when you’re in the right space!
I had never experienced the fun & the joy of dating until him. The excitement of getting to know someone, reveling in their stories & sharing your’s, the rush of connecting to another soul, letting down of your walls & revealing your true self.
It was the most wonderful feeling.
I finally knew love.

It was amazing how easy it could be ~ why had I struggled so much before?
Why am I struggling again?
Am I struggling now? 

Lately I’ve started going for runs, a slightly shocking activity for me, 
but I’m really enjoying it. I love the feeling of strength & possibility I get while out on my run.
Music pumping, the sun on my face, the freedom in the moment.
So yesterday while doing a lap it hit me, this moment of clarity!
I’m too afraid to let myself be vulnerable again!

vul·ner·a·ble: adj    capable of being physically or emotionally wounded or hurt

I am struggling within myself to let my guard down.
While these dates & men are great, I’m not letting them in…or letting them see the real me.

AM I willing to expose myself & my heart again?
Could I handle the pain again?

I want to say yes! Yes, I’m willing to let go of my fear!
Yes, to being open to the possibility of falling in love again.
But will I let down the safe walls I’m hiding behind?

I’m scared.
(funnily enough I’m willing to be vulnerable here with you, on the page, but in life? Oh boy!)
But I’m willing to try.

So the new goal going forward on these dates ~ share myself!
Be vulnerable!

Keep ya posted after this next round of dates 😉
Wish me luck 

*I wanted to give a shout out to Marni Battista & her program, Dating with Dignity – she’s changed my life & if you’re looking for love I couldn’t recommend her more! I’ve talked about our work together in posts on First Love at 37 if you want more in depth to the story. Thanks Marni!! xo

Ahhhh the Sweet smell of Summer has arrived….

Wait, what??! It’s June??!!
 Yep,  the days are longer, the sun feels warmer, & the birds are chirping really early in the morning, I think its here…
That familiar sense of endless possibilities is surrounding me, hugging me ~ mmhmm yep, that’s that SUMMER feeling 
 & this year I couldn’t be more ready for some summer FUN!!

Life has been pretty hectic these past few months & I’ll admit it was a welcomed craziness! I dove head first in to work, into my business, & into anything to avoid feeling my way through my heartache.
And it worked for a while, but when I came up for air the heartache was still there…
I knew I needed to face it, but I knew I needed help.

So, as if I wasn’t busy enough, I enrolled back in with my amazing dating coach, 
Marni Battista. 
I knew no one would tell me straight up like it is & make me believe in myself enough again like she could! With her previous coaching, I had experienced my first true love, but now as I was experiencing my first true heartbreak I needed guidance to get out of the fog.

It has truly been a roller coaster of emotions these past few months & as a reformed “frequent avoider” of facing my feelings, it has been scary, uncomfortable & exhilarating!

Two summer’s ago, Marni & I finished up our work together & out into the dating world she sent me ~ a more confident & self-loving version of me.
And it worked! 
Once I had learned to love myself & saw the goodness I could bring to a relationship, the men started showing up.
A particularly wonderful man caught my attention quickly & it lead to an amazing summer!
(I’ll save you from all the stories, but if you want to read’em they’re at )

We lasted a year. 
Maybe the timing was off, maybe it ran its course, I can only speak from my experience, that it will always be a year I treasure & hold close to my heart.
I learned to love & be loved and it was beautiful.

Needless to say that lead to the not-so-best summer of my life last year…

Now that we’ve circled around to another summer, I am ready to love fully, madly & deeply again!!!
I’m excited to be back writing again & will be sharing all the fun adventures, mishaps, & insights that dating at 39 brings!!!

I am taking on this summer with an open heart & an open mind!
Love could be anywhere!
Yes, I’ll be looking online, maybe going a round or 2 at speed dating, meet-ups, you name it ~ it’s all going to be about being out LIVING A LIFE I LOVE!

That being said, I am also open to meeting any fine gentlemen you may know. 
If you know me & know someone who you think may be a good match, why not introduce us? 😉

A couple of friends have done just that & it been fun meeting new men.
The 1st guy was my “getting back in the saddle” guy, there’s always gotta be that guy, right? 😉
It was fun to be out connecting, flirting, conversing, but not a match.
This 2nd guy is very nice…we’ll see… 

I feel lots of adventures await & you’ll get to be along for the ride!
Stay tuned.
I’ve gotta run ~ a BBQ at the beach is waiting


To hope or not to hope…

 hope:  a feeling of expectation and desire for a certain thing to happen…

I’ve been in a real introspective state these past few weeks, a lot of questions to myself ~ who am I? who do I want to be? what makes me happy? what do I want out of this life?

And through this personal interrogation, I have found that I’ve been quite happy over this past month ~ I’ve finally got my groove at work, my social life has kept me booked, I’ve been working out, finding a new love for my body & an appreciation of it’s strength…
So of course this daily joy has me questioning it 😉
Ha! Can’t a girl just be happy? 

What really got my mind whirling was the sudden burst of tears this week at a picture of a friend’s beautiful newborn baby girl ~ what is with me & this river????
I mean, I’m happy, right?
Life is good, things are falling in to place, I’ve got a good job, my business is taking off, I’m surrounded with amazing friends & family ~ why is this adorable cherubic face bringing me tears?

Since the break up, I’ve been going back though the things Marni, my amazing dating coach, has taught me & thinking about my “wants” & my non-negotiables.
What I dug down to was something I’ve been afraid to say out loud for a long long time…
If I admit to wanting this & it’s not in the cards, can I handle the pain?
Is it easier to play it safe?
Or does that hurt more now, knowing my true feelings?
Can I ignore them? Will they go away if not encouraged?
Or do I just put it out there??!!!

Ugh, I know the answer to that one…you can’t have what you don’t ask for, right?
I’ve always been the ambivalent one of my friend’s, on the fence about my feelings on this, indecisive mostly, but it’s time to be honest…
Oh this makes me nervous…

Ok, here it goes, I long to have a family, to be a part of a unit (as a friend eloquently termed it), to have people to care for, to love, & to worry about.
My definition is still vague as to what exactly that is for me ~
~ it could be just be me & him
~ us & a fish, a cat, a dog, whatever
 ~ us & a baby
~ us & existing families
I’m open to it all, whatever the Universe brings my way
(please, please bring it my way, feeling vulnerable here now that I’ve put it out there…)

Some of the moments when I felt truly content during this past year’s relationship was the rare times I got to take care of him. I got a rush going to the grocery store & planning a dinner to cook for him ~ it scared me, who is this girl? I don’t like to cook, don’t even know how, but I wanted to for him.
I wanted to embrace it, but sensed it may have scared him too, it was maybe too relationship-y.

Ok, well back to the unleashed faucet of tears, which made another appearance tonight as I watched one man explain his realization of his purpose here on earth to be a father & the joy it brings ~ thank god the room was dark & the spotlight on him, I was a mess!!

My hope has been waning lately. 
The reality is it may not happen for me.
And I should be prepared for that, but I’d much rather plug my ears, close my eyes, & lalala that thought away…
 I know I should keep the faith, but sometimes its hard.
Inching towards 39, is not in the prime dating bracket, men worry about the ticking clocks, its too much pressure, I get it.
But I can’t worry about them, I’m just going to ask for what I’d like & see who sticks.

Here’s to hoping!!
Cheers, xo

Time to be real with myself

RKO RADIO PICTURES SUSPENSE: Cary Grant plays a spy in love with a woman (Ingrid Bergman) who he assigns to seduce a Nazi in Alfred Hitchcock’s Notorious. / handout
 Okay, a lil re-cap where we left off since its been a while ~
He’s in Australia for another week.
I’m in Los Angeles, struggling with trying to be strong & not go full-on into  heartbroken mode…I want to hold true to the love I know I have for him, but how long does one do that without looking foolish? Really?

When I saw this picture from the film “Notorious”, it immediately grabbed me. I could feel this deep love they had for each other & yet there’s a sense of longing, of wishing their obligations weren’t pulling them apart. 
Neither wanting to let go, but knowing it must happen.
His close embrace soaking up her essence, hoping to remember her softness, her scent.
Her quiet resolve to the situation, letting these last few minutes be precious…its moments like these to me that is love, not the showy bits but the quiet connection bits!
(I really must go watch this movie now!)

Ok, back to us..
So we started to communicate a lil more via email after our 11:11 re-connect. Slowly.
A short email here. A polite response there…
I think we were both kind of feeling each other out, neither sure where the other stood & afraid to state it ourselves…

During his time away, I began to dip my toe back into the online dating pool, purely to test the water ~ was it warm & inviting? chilly? leaves floating in it?
I did a bit of updating to my profile, added a pic on a day I was feeling particularly pretty 😉 Did a lil “shopping”…but no one was catching my eye.
Now I know it was way too early to seriously consider power dating again, but I needed to gut-check myself & see if it peeked my interest at all ~ it didn’t! 

Realizing my heart was still invested with him, I made the decision to let him know.
Our emails were okay. He was always saying nice things. They just missed that connection I knew we had. They were safe.
 Seeing his name in my inbox, I would get a rush of excitement to read it, only to feel “eh” after reading it…why?
What was at the root?

After reading back through our emails from that week, I knew my sterile, simply worded responses were creating what was being mirrored right back to me! 
Here I go ~ playing it safe AGAIN!! 
Goddammit all this work on myself & I’m repeating old patterns!!! UGHHHHH!!!
Why would he respond with the loving words I longed to here if I was giving him “hi. how are you?”…oh I can be so silly & stubborn!

I decided it was time to crawl out from behind my walls, expose my feelings, be raw, be naked, be free.
Okay, well baby steps…I climbed out on the limb via email (while I knew he was on a 15+ hours flight back)

I told him how much I had been missing him, how I had been holding back & why. I bared myself & it felt good!
My heart raced as I hit send, but I felt a calmness too, I guess I knew even if his response wasn’t what I hoped to hear, at least I said what I felt, I mean ACTUALLY said it, I’ve NEVER done that!

I woke the next morning to the sound of a text.
He just landed & got my “wonderful” email – (I took that as a good sign). 
Jet-lagged, he was off to bed. 
I was off to work, with a smile on my face. I had a good feeling. 

** I must give a shout out of thanks to Ms. Marni Battista, my dating/life coach, who without her I’d just keep on repeating my same old sh*t – thanks for holding up the mirror & making me take responsibility for the life i WANT to live!!

Thoughts of a year ago

Its crazy to think that Thanksgiving is tomorrow! 
How did this happen? Where has the year gone?

I’ll admit to loving the chill in the air, but that’s about the only thing telling me its November. This year has been an amazing year, full of many changes, challenges, joys & laughter, but boy has it flown by!

I caught myself thinking back to last year the day before Thanksgiving & struggling to get excited for a 1st date that evening.
I had met this gentleman at a wine event a few weeks earlier & he had been quite persistent in his chase.
He seemed nice when we chatted over a glass at the event & I was trying to be more open on my search for love, so why not? Let’s meet for a drink…

The morning of the date I was NOT wanting to go! Had a chat with my dating coach, Marni & she reasoned some sense into me ~ I had nothing to lose, go out & have some fun!
Now she wasn’t too happy to learn I ended up trekking to his side of town for the date. Originally we were supposed to meet in Hollywood, middle ground, but he was tiiiired, oh good god I’ll drive to your side…
 Marni is a big believer in having the man make the effort & come to your world, not necessarily your home but your side of town.
That used to make me very nervous, like they’d expect to be “asked over” afterwards, & I hate awkward moments. At least in the middle, you just part & go your separate ways…

Sorry to ramble on, needless to say I found myself on the westside at the Westside Tavern meeting a man I couldn’t even remember by appearance (thank god he recognized me) (and who knows how dark it was the first night, he could’ve been older than my dad!!)
The place was packed. He asked if I wanted to get a table, nope 1 drink & I’m out! So we ended up at the bar & his hands quickly went everywhere – totally regretting the lack of table choice!

We have some wine,& chat for bit. I keep pushing him off, persistent I’ll give him that, but not the most perceptive.
Afterwards he walks me to my car & being the “nice” girl, I offer to drive him to his car – BIG MISTAKE!
Once to his car, his seatbelt come off & over the seat he dives.
It was one of those moments where I was caught so off guard I kissed him back instead of slap him like I should’ve.
When he then tried to instruct me on how to kiss, he had to go!
I FINALLY got him out of my car – thank goodness!

Driving home that night, blasting Florence + the Machine’s “Dog Days Are Over” repeatedly, I found a strength in myself I didn’t know I had.
Instead of getting depressed over another bad date, I saw that I didn’t have to settle for what ever attention is being given me if I don’t like it.
I also learned when my gut keeps trying to tell me something (like don’t go) I need to listen!

Cut to a year later, a lot has changed ~ there have been many more dates, more lessons learned and I am ever so THANKFUL for the journey that has brought me to the wonderful man I’m seeing now.

The good stuff is worth the wait 🙂



Modern dating 😉

The day had finally arrived to meet in person. 
We had been chatting for a couple of weeks via okcupid & now the time had come to actually have some voice-on-voice, face-on-face contact – oh dear god!

We had figured out Thursday, but the “where” part not so much…
He offers to come my side of town (a very chivalrous move in a large traffic-filled city!)
A move I would’ve said “no” to prior to Marni, I always liked a middle ground meeting spot, with an easy exit strategy, but I was gonna play by her rules, god help me, so I said sure come to my area.

Now not being familiar with my area, he suggests I pick a spot. 
Oh my god – the pressure! Where I picks reflects so much about me – am I hip? In the know of the coolest spot? I don’t wanna go too expensive, but NOTHING corporate chain-like…I wonder what he likes? I freeze!
I message out to all my girls – any good spot recommendations for a 1st date? Low-key, casual, cool?
I’m getting no responses back.
I’m totally leaving him hanging, but I’m working on it…really
I email him late the night before with no options, I failed
His response, somewhat jokingly “Nothing like leaving a guy to sweat it out over here” (oops)…we go with his assistant’s suggestion “The Griffin”, a groovy local bar I had been wanting to check out (& completely spaced on)- YAY assistant! Give him a raise!

**A lil side note, he apparently got razzed by all his friend’s for putting the ball in my court, which is probably why he swooped in & saved the date. I guess they were saying it put me in an awkward position, BUT I did see his reasoning, it totally made sense to have the local girl pick the spot. It was all my own self-imposed angst causing my trouble 😉

We’ve got the day, the place, all we needed was the time – 6pm he suggests. 6pm really? Huh, kinda early, but I guess if its a dud, we cut our losses & salvage our own respective evenings. Done – the date is on!

I got all dolled up (a skirt, some heels ~ finally a tall one I could wear heels with), mad-dashed it to get a mani, got the manicurists  all involved & excited for me, I mean their work could be helping me find love!
I was actually REALLY looking forward to this date!
**sorry, another lil side note, ladies ~ dress like a lady, something that makes you feel pretty, no jeans! Have fun embracing your femininity! I’m just sayin…

I’m cutting it close to the 6 at this point, pulling out some mad driving techniques, I can’t be late.
His 1st glimpse of me ~ reversing crazily down a residential street, a quick smile & a wave, yep he saw that it was me…

Surprise ~ we have the whole bar pretty much to ourselves – 6pm who knew? I love it.
We grab a drink & cozy into a corner. The conversation just flowed, we laughed, we drank, ate some, talked more…next thing you know its almost midnight!
I haven’t had a date this great in who knows how long!
I think I like this guy 😉

Walks me to my car & is ever the gentleman, he gives me a hug goodnight, that’s all, a long warm hug.
Oh man I want to see him again!
I hope he feels the same…

Online dating follies

Why wasn’t I paying attention
in chemistry class?

So to catch you up ~ I had hired a dating coach, Marni,  who turned out to be more of my life coach at the beginning – we got my life in motion, launched a new business, left my time-consuming, life-sucking job, starting doing more things I enjoyed, caught up with friends…I got to a really happy place.

Time to tackle the dating arena now! Online she sent me.
I was a lil hesitant about it, based on past experiences, and also the fact that I feel its just a weird way to meet a potential mate (cuz of course, I’m still stuck on the “swelling music in the background as your eyes lock for the 1st time in a random meeting at the coffee shop” hoopla)

First round ~ ~ 3 month subscription, bring it, I’m ready!
I come out “winking” like a mad woman at any somewhat decent profile.
No responses…okay, that’s alright…
A friend tells me I should just LOOK at their profile, so they see I checked them out & then let them be the 1st to make the move, you know you don’t wanna come on TOO strong & emasculate them…blah, blah, blah…
Hmmmmm…was beginning to think I’m checking out all the fake profiles posted to entice quality women in…
I start taking it personally – NEVER DO THAT! (but its kinda hard not to)

So, I’m telling Marni about my non-progress & she suggests She’s got clients having success there & its FREE! Sign me up!
I give her a look at my profile, eh I kinda passed. She gave me a “B”, but I’m an “A+ overachiever” kinda gal, so we tweaked away until we got to a profile that was a shining me (it helps to have an outsider’s perspective of you, just sayin)
Then I got schooled in the “you don’t just wink!” (then why is it there??), you send them a quick lil message commenting on something you’ve read in their profile  – these are the obvious reasons why I need a dating coach!

Second round ~ ~ First I gotta say, ladies there are some QUALITY men WITH jobs on this site – check it out!
I was a message fool! Once I was shown the way, I was out of control, chatting up all sorts of types of guys – I was actually having fun!
Then…I get this really funny, interesting message in my inbox from someone I hadn’t approached…he was handsome, witty, had a job, was TALL (hard to find these days in L.A.). I was definitely intrigued.
The only thing holding me back was that he had kids, I wasn’t sure where my maternal instincts lied, but that could bring a dimension I wasn’t sure I was ready for, I mean, ex’s & all…eh
But of all the conversations I was having, the ones with him were the most interesting.
Ok, talked myself into it, meeting up for 1 drink couldn’t hurt ~ it’ll just be a fun evening out =)

Our FIRST date was set – 6pm(????) on a Thursday @ The Griffin… 

The Journey begins…

Ok, growing up as a lil girl all the stories I was told included this fair maiden being rescued by her one true love, her knight in shining armor, her Prince Charming…

Do you think this did a lil damage? Skewed my perception of “love” in some sort? Of course!
I fell hook, line & sinker for this fairy tale, and spent my life on the search for my “one true love”
“Snow White & the Seven Dwarves”
“Cinderella” meeting her Prince Charming
The kiss from her true love
to wake “Sleeping Beauty”
Saved by her Prince – “Enchanted”

Cut to 34 years old, sitting in a dark theater with my mom, catching myself smiling ridiculously while watching “Enchanted”  – ahhhh love, full of songs & birds chirping…yes, I was still on my search…

I still believed…kinda…

Now don’t get me wrong, I’d had my fun, my flings, my hopeless crushes, my unrequited loves, but had not yet been swept off my feet by a man on a horse.
And I was holding tight to this belief that that was how it worked – thank you Mr. Disney.

I tried my hand at online dating, personals in the paper (before the dawn of, blind dates, & my favorite, speed dating.
Sometimes fun, sometimes painful, sometimes a really great story to tell the girls over cocktails.
I even flew to another country to find my prince, only to learn he lived at home with mom!! (a detail I would have preferred to know before boarding)

All of this endless searching lead me to a phone call about getting over a break-up, (which I was not really trying to do, I was trying to get over a CRUSH) & I heard the guest host speaking about how men can sense your energy, no matter how dolled up you got, they could sense my desperation – OH NO! (& so true!)

Cue my new dating GURU – Marni Battista. I knew I had to work with her after she called me out on all my goo after taking the D-Factor (Date-ability) test.

Now having worked with Marni for over a year, I have come to be the happiest I’ve been in my life AND wouldn’t you know that’s precisely when HE road in… 

Our story begins…