Set-ups, solo dates, & flashbacks from the past…

Ok, I’m back at it!
Online flirting that is 😉
Always, gotta keep in practice, right?
So far, not so good in the response department, soooo I’m going with we’re not a match on all counts.

I will admit to getting confused by the guys who do pick you as a “match” via OkCupid’s “Quick Match” system, yet when you get notified that you both chose each other, they don’t make a move.
So, I’ll throw a quick lil note out there to said match…nothing.
Huh? Why?

It can all be very confusing.
I try to not interpret actions or non-actions, but you gotta wonder sometimes people’s motivations.
Best to keep it at screen value ~ what’s said is what’s meant, no action means no action, eventually someone who wants to chat will come along.
A friend sent me a link to an article about about modern dating.
It mostly pertained to the Millennial Generation, but it still made me sad.
The art of dating & courting a mate is disappearing, 
while 20-somethings just continue in hook-up mode from college or group dates.
A whole generation may never go on a proper date!! Its CRAZY!!

It seems gone is the actual verbal asking for a date, most guys seem to text or email & usually without much notice, according to the article.
I am SO thankful to not be a part of that generation!
Especially since I’ve been “trying out” the older gentlemen, they have all picked up the phone & asked me out (only 1 resorted to text & he was weeded out quickly).
Of course with their calling, it meant I actually had to pick up the phone – eek!- (& not screen it), which I proudly & nervously did 🙂
I’m not a phone person, never have been, even in high school. I like to use it to make the plans, & we’ll chat in person, so I try to keep the conversations short & sweet.
I will admit it is great to put a voice to the words you’ve been reading though.
It helps the daydreams seem more real.

It also brought up the FOMO theory. 
I’ll agree with my friend that it has always been around to some extent, but I feel the internet & online dating have made the Fear Of Missing Out more pronounced.
It has hyper-sensitized the fear of settling, I mean there’s soooooo many options now, with each click an even better woman or man could be waiting, while you just skim over one who’s good, but not 110% good….

Which leads me to pondering the “mathematical” matching systems they use on these sites…I’ve been shopping my matches & of course they see if you click on their profile, so at what percentage of a match is he worth clicking on? 75%? 80%? Only 90% & above make the cut?
I used to figure 85% & up was good, but then my clicks I was attracted to were getting few & far between, so I’ve lowered it to the 80% match tile, with high friend %’s too.
I figure that’s in the “B” range, right?
That’s a hopeful amount for connection, right?
I’m open to your suggestions 😉

Ok, enough with the online! Time to join the real world!
It was solo date night on Saturday & I had a blast!
I hadn’t treated just myself out in quite a while, so it was a refreshing change.
Now it wasn’t the intended plan for the evening, but all my friends were busy & I saw no point to my tickets going to waste. So I packed up my bag & off to the outdoor screening of “Gentlemen Prefer Blondes” I went.

Had a good book to keep me company til the sun set, munched on my popcorn & drank my wine. It was divine.

No awkward lulls in conversation. No worries if they were enjoying themselves. It was just me getting to soak up the gorgeous-ness of a crisp LA night, watching 2 wonderful actresses light up the screen.

Its so fun to watch Marilyn Monroe oooooze her femininity. Sure, sometimes she uses to get what she wants, but there’s something so amazing in watching a woman own her beauty & curves.
She was smart at playing dumb, you always know she knew what she was doing. So talented.

We always fight so hard to be taken seriously today, but I’d much rather see strength from men than fight to be their equal. I love the men/women dynamics of the older movies!
I feel I probably have lamented this before…

Ah yes, Ms Monroe ~ “I’m very definitely a woman & I enjoy it!”

So, from solo dates, I jumped to well-crafted brunch with friends on Sunday for a “chance” meeting with a friend’s co-worker, who he thought would be a great match.
Cute, very funny, same industry (which is a good & bad thing).
Thankfully, I don’t think he was aware of the brunch’s intention.
So much less pressure to “perform” 😉
I know I don’t do well in groups, especially when most are strangers. I tend to be the quiet, listening one when surrounded by a large group of big boisterous personalities, like this one. 
It was hard not to “over-mimosa” to compensate, but thankfully I resisted the urge.
If anything, I got to know the group better & maybe a seed was planted…
I always appreciate my friend looking to hook a girl up!

And, of course right on cue, enters the guy I was dating right before I met my ex – a previous hook up attempt from same friend’s…I shoulda figured he’d be there.
Oops, sorry I never returned your calls or texts, I got busy being swept off my feet…so how’ve you been?
Slightly awkward…but my bubbly buzz helped 😉

Well that about sums up this past week, can’t wait to see what/who lies ahead this week!


One week in…

Alright, so we’re through the first week of the new year…how’s it going for you?
Did you make any resolutions?
How’s that goin? 😉

This year I chose to go sans resolutions, in the effort to be honest with myself ~ 
why make promises I’m not gonna keep?
This year on New Year’s day I took an hour to sit down & really get a clear vision of what I’d like to see the year ahead bring.
I let my mind go BIG with what I desire. 
I felt a lightness come over me…a calmness. I felt my angst-ing spirit relax finally!
The potential I see in my year ahead is so exciting & now its up to the daily steps I take to make it a reality! 
One of the things I started doing this new year is to document one second of each day.
I discovered Cesar Kuriyama & his project “1 Second App” on Kickstarter last month & fell in love with this idea!
His project got funded & the app is going to be available soon!! But in the meantime I’m capturing a second each day.
Talk about keeping you present to the moments!
Here’s what the app will look like 🙂
I mean, how cool is it that at the end of the year you’ll have approx a 6 min year in review of your life, in 5 years – 30 mins…in 25 years you can be showing your grandkids a 2 1/2 hour movie of your life ~ so cool!!!!

Check our Cesar’s video story to be inspired too ~ 1Second App  

I enjoy the freshness a year brings, the feeling of new opportunities, new beginnings & this week did not disappoint!
Do you ever get that nausceous feeling when a big decision is needing to be made? Yep, right on schedule the quesy stomach snuck up on me & really got me thinking.
I was being faced with deciding this year’s growth for Ch*Armz & I could go safe and steady, which was working, showing increases in profit OR I could push myself out of my comfort zone, which involves some financial riskiness…oh my stomach.
If I was being truly honest with myself, I had lost the “fun” I had been having with Ch*Armz ~ the business side was pulling me down, scaring me & wanting me to keep it safe
~ the creative side was dying to play with new ideas, but is it too risky???!

I knew deep down I needed to make myself uncomfortable, get scared, get creative & get back to having fun!!! So here I go!!!
My mind hasn’t stopped racing with ideas since, it so exciting!! I’ll keep you in the loop of the journey 🙂

Another fun lil thing I’m up to that I want to share (for all my single gals especially) comes from a suggestion of a good friend ~ I don’t know where she hides those wings of her’s but she is an angel among us! 🙂
Over the years, she’s listened to my dating woes & has been especially supportive lately as I go through my first real heartbreak. As we sipped our tea last month, she suggested I start a gratitude journal.
Not just any gratitude journal, but one giving thanks daily for my future partner. Finding daily appreciation in him & in us as a couple, giving thanks for what is coming, in an essence calling it/him into being.
The shift I have felt has been so freeing from my gloom.
I can truly see he exists, that we exist!

Each day prepares me more for all that I dream
Happy new beginnings

My journal

Now, I’m off to swing dance lessons ~ do what you enjoy!!!
Have a great week!!