Category Archives: first dates

Gone Boy Crazy

Posted in apps, coffee dates, dating, faith in dating, first dates, First Love at 37, hopeless romantic, Love, new beginnings, Tinder, year of dating fearlessly by
photo 2

Pretty can be prickly

 

I don’t know if it’s the warmer temps, the unstructured days, or the fact I’ve gotten actual sleep, but I’ve gone doggone boy crazy! I see handsome men everywhere I go. I’m smiling & giggling (to myself) like a silly lil school girl, I can’t help it!  I’ve even noticed getting more help in the grocery store from the attentive stock boys & extra shots of espresso from the handsome baristas…a girl could get used to this.

There’s a lot of change swirling about in my life these days (all good) & I think its shook off some of the dust that has settled in over these past couple of years.  With these past two weeks free from work, my social calendar  has kicked up a few notches & I owe you stories featuring a handful of suitors…BUT I cannot wait to share this story, so pardon me while I skip ahead to yesterday’s whirlwind romance…

It all started a coupla weeks ago while playing the game of Tinder.  I swiped right. He swiped right.

And within minutes a message from him. “Oh, a live one” I thought…I’ve found on my recent return back to the dating app, that while the matches may be plenty, the man who actually makes the initial move is a rare breed.  And as a lady who likes her men to take the lead, I always engage with those bold enough to muster the first “hi”.

This one, ooooh let’s call him Mr. Tenacious (Mr. T), sends his hello, quickly followed up with an invite to go shoot pool in NoHo right then.  I look at the clock, it’s 11:30 pm on a Sunday. Sure, I’m not doing anything besides swiping my evening away, but I wonder ~ does he really mean ‘let’s go shoot some pool’ or is that some euphemism for sex these days (balls, sticks, holes…I don’t know??)  I end up ignoring the invite, pretty much wanting to nip the late night impromptu suggestions in the bud.

I know from his profile he’s a road manager for rock bands, so its safe to assume he’s a night owl.  The next morning I wake to find a message flashing in my inbox. It was Mr. T apologizing. He hadn’t realized the time when he messaged & wanted to wish me a good day.  Ok, so maybe he is a cool guy who’s body clock is off & who better to understand that than this gal, fresh off of 2 months of night work.

I decide to give him a chance & we message back & forth lil notes, nothing earth shattering, over the next couple of days until he hits the road with work for a week.  Cut to this week, guess who’s back from Cleveland? You got it!

The ‘dip the toe in’ messages began ~ “good morning”, “good evening”, nothing of substance. I quickly tire of this & having to log-in to the app to converse, so I send him my phone number…sometimes you win with this, sometimes you wish you had a 2nd line for your potential suitors.  The giving of the numbers occurred about 10am yesterday. By noon he called, no voice message, but was followed by a text to say he had called…gotcha! He asked “you working now?”

I was in the middle of a project & responded a couple of hours later & sillily mentioned my work got pushed by a couple of days. Ten minutes pass. My phone rings, its him. I answer. “Lattes. You. Me. Now”

Ummmmm…hmmmmmm latte with a fly by the seat of your pants type of guy or laundry at the laundromat on a hot afternoon??? This hopeful romantic, caffeine-addict said yes.

Turns our Mr. T does not have a car (in LA?!) but thankfully takes responsibility for getting himself places like a responsible adult (unlike another recent gentleman caller).  We decide to keep it local for him, which worked well for an errand I needed to run too, so killing two birds with one latte…we opted for convenience & picked Starbucks for our coffee date. We had our cross streets & we each began to head that direction.

Turns out there’s 3 Starbucks in that general area, shocking I know! Being on top of it, he sent over the address, a map, and general directions ~ thorough? chivalrous? obsessive compulsive? or in desperate need of his caffeine fix? I’d learn soon enough.  I thought it’d be a funny “meet cute” that we’d both be at different locations, both technically correct, we’d bicker bout who’s right over the phone as we walked to meet in the middle, lattes in hand, our eyes lock mid-block & we just know…ha! Ok, cut the background music, back to reality we come.

My 1st stop ended up running a lil long & he landed across the street. He texts that he’s secured me a meter on the side street & will see me there. Two things ~

  1. There’s a giant free parking lot in the back, which always has available spots
  2. If he doesn’t have a car, how is he securing the spot? Sitting in it?

I can only chuckle, shrug my shoulders & go in search of my gallant parking knight.  I arrive to stories of fighting off a BMW, a Lexus & an angry mini-van mom. He paid the meter, he owns that space!  He makes me laugh.

Earlier while en route to the date, he texted asking my sign & if I had ever dated a Gemini?  Apparently they still ask ‘hey baby, what’s your sign?’  No previous Gemini beaus I tell him…can’t wait to see where this conversation is headed.  Right off the bat once we get in line to order drinks, he dives in with Gemini traits ~ they’re enthusiastic (check) & they know what they like (a triple shot, 6 pumps vanilla wet cappuccino). Not 5 pumps, not 7, precisely 6.  Once we get outside, he follows it up with “Geminis are great lovers too”.  Oh boy, we’ve got a ‘live one’ is right!

Conversation ping-pongs around all over the place, no single thought is finished. I try to keep up. He’s fun & quite possibly crazy…another Gemini trait?

He was getting hot & sweating quite a bit, so I suggest going into the a/c but he thought it’d be much more fun to stroll the boulevard, window shop & chat. Um,ok.

A couple of blocks in I was regretting my lack of sunscreen & poor choice of shoes, usually cute sandals are safe for a coffee date.  We thankfully tuck into some shade & I get the Instagram tour of his life on the road. It looks pretty awesome. He does get to see some pretty great places, but he’s gone most of the year.  Back out in the beating sun, he grabs my coffee & puts it in my other hand while sliding his sweaty palm into mine. Oh, oh, oh…c’mon…  I suggest turning back once we’ve passed all the shops, sensing he could just wander for hours.

On the return stroll he asks multiple times what I’m doing tomorrow, the next day & the next. He’s starting to plan for our next date ~ driving around to see movie locations around town from our favorite movies (kind of a cool date idea). He had downloaded an app earlier in the date that gave all the info. Of course I joke about how are we going to get to all these locations. “Well, you’d be driving, of course” he says straight-faced. Silly me.

He makes his intentions very clear he wants to see me 2-3 times before he hits the road next week, yet I feel we’ve learned absolutely nothing about each other during this date to warrant more. Then he starts eluding to his extra airline vouchers he needs to use & maybe we could make good use of those…we’ll see.

I’m so overwhelmed.  I am not a future-izer! At this point I’m just walking along sipping whats left of my iced coffee, wide eyed & listening to him go.  Thankfully I had already established early on that I had to leave to pick up my friend at the airport, & oh lookie, its that time.

He walked me to my car, gave me an enthusiastic hug, lingered, then dove in for another hug, lips beelining for mine. I try the cheek dive, but he outsmarts me, man he’s fast!  I get in my car and laugh, what a random Monday afternoon. Dating is funny.

I’m not even two blocks away & the texts begin

  • Had a great time
  • Looking forward to our adventures
  • 😉
  • You can follow me on Facebook
  • Here’s my Instagram name
  • Here’s my Twitter

Invoking the ‘safe driver’ clause, I did not respond then, figuring I’d follow up later.  After a long catch up session over dinner with my friend, I texted him to say thanks for the afternoon fun & that I had made it with perfect timing to the airport.  Whoops, that was waking the beast. Sometimes I never know when to leave good enough alone. I gotta go & “be polite”, then things get weird.  He calls in response to my text, again it’s later in the night (what was I thinking?).  He’s talking low & sexy, says its so he won’t disturb his roommate.  Its awkward.  I don’t even remember what we talked about. We hang up.

A minute later he texts ~ “Can I be direct with you?”  Well, I figure this could go any which way, seeing as I have no clue what just happened on the phone. I’m curious, so I say “sure”.  This is the text I get back: (sorry mom) “Iam so f*****g hard right now & want to have sex with you for hours. Zero drama. Just amazing sex”.  Yep, that’s direct.  I’m all fired up as I read it. The Universe has been playing with me lately, testing me with setting my boundaries, which I fail to do early on, so I pounced on this opportunity & set him straight.

And again, in response, the Gemini in him is just a sensual being, he practices tantra, it’ll be amazing…blah, blah, blah. Ok so he’s not listening to me, best to just shut up, Thus ending the whirlwind romance with Mr. T in my book.

He kept on texting about the map he was creating for our next date. He was even gung-ho & chipper with texts this morning.  I think we loved enough in the span of 24 hours to last us a lifetime ~ thank you Mr. T.

Just when you think you’ve got things handled…

Posted in 2014. happy new year, christopher reeve, Dating with Dignity, faith in dating, father issues, Find Love Now, first dates, First Love at 37, hopeless romantic, second dates, Tinder, year of dating fearlessly by
Oh crap!
My dad issues are affecting my dating life!!

I mean I was aware I had some “dad issues” but I I thought I had worked through those in these past few years. And, please don’t get me wrong I love my dad! I think we get along quite well now, but apparently there’s some stuff I gotta look at…sigh

Let me take you back to last week’s date that triggered all this…

I was finally meeting up with the Canadian librarian who I had met on Tinder.
We had been exchanging messages for a couple of weeks over the holidays, as we were both were busy traveling or booked with family in town, so it was finally time to meet up.
Our messages had been light & easy, starting off with the usual asking of the basics. Where we then moved into more witty banter. 
His flirting had an intellect to it that sparked my interest.
I’ve always found an educated man to be sexy. He doesn’t have to know everything about everything but if he’s got a passion & loves to share his knowledge in it – hot!
I was really looking forward to this date.

Pre-date giddiness, feelin pretty
We were meeting up at a small lil neighborhood wine bar he picked, which sounded casual & cozy.
I always love to let my girlie side show & decided to go with a dress & heels.
Always heels!
LA is a city overrun with short men & I gotta know early on how high a heel I can get away with, cuz I ain’t giving them up 😉
One thing I have learned from my Tinder dates, if their pics are mostly waist & up, they will be shorter than me…they have ALL been shorter than me.
(This may be where Tinder falls short since their stats aren’t listed, its kinda a crap shoot)

Sure, yeah, you can make the argument of falling for their personality is more important but if you can’t get attracted while bending down for a kiss, I’m not sure you ever will.

Ok, so yes, he fell into the shorter than me category, but possibly eye level without heels, so not giving up hope yet.

We get our glasses of wine. He’s a white wine guy. I’m a red wine gal.
Maybe we’re the opposites attract type?
We start picking up & elaborating on conversations we had messaged about.
I quickly notice with every comment I make I am corrected.
But he’s backing it up with facts & data, quoting obscure books & references, so kinda hot, right?
Have I mentioned he’s a librarian?
I’m soaking up new information, I’m learning while on a date ~ very cool.
Until it keeps happening, with every topic! Even fashion!
I’m getting triggered, my combative-ness is starting to come out…not pretty Carlie, take a deep breath & hear him out.
I was trying really hard to not shut down mid-date. Yes, I had pretty much written him off as potential at this point, but I might as well enjoy the night, right?
But then I’d hear myself argue something back to him, like I had no control over my mouth!

Managed to survive through the conversations with a couple of glasses of wine & as he walked me to my car, he leaned in for the kiss – either he was on a different date than me or he get turned on by debating where he always wins.
I cringe to admit I kissed him back, seemed a quicker way out & as I pull away he suggests we do this again – seriously????
BUT
he says its up to me to invite him out & plan the evening
(I will leave my rant about gender roles & dating for a future post).
I say ok & quickly hop in my car, figuring I just dodged a 2nd date.

Of course he reaches out a couple of days later via text & I find myself even being combative & snarky in my responses. He does not bring out my best self!

Cut to a couple of days ago & I’m sharing this experience with my therapist
(yes, the therapist thing is happening now)
& in doing his brilliant job of holding the mirror up to me & making me actually look, he shows me how this gentleman’s behavior was triggering my childhood reactions of dealing with my dad – who is always right…
And I reacted exactly how I used to as a child – dammit!
Instead of just listening, I was immediately forming judgements based on my past & writing him off.
Maybe he was anxious & was trying to impress, he suggested, but how would I know that if I’m not giving him a chance.
I cannot keep shutting down if its not how I “expect” it to be.

Sooooooo, I’m giving him a 2nd chance…while I currently feel this is against my better judgement, by Tuesday I will go into this open-minded, if anything for the practice & the experience of staying present

Christopher Reeve said “either you decide to stay in the shallow end of the pool or you go out in the ocean.”
I’m learning how to swim in the ocean, no more shutting down & playing it safe in the shallow end.

**Other Player’s Update**
Going into the new year I was looking forward to meeting up with a couple of other suitors too, here’s their latest…
The Restauranteur – has been benched due to a hernia, we’ll see if he comes back swinging.
The Second time Around Guy – has also been out of play due to family health issues which took him out of town & between juggling when he’s got his kid’s, I feel we may never get that 2nd date in. We chat, but missing the in-person connection…

In the meantime, I’m just gonna hang my heart out there & go enjoy life!
Have a great week!!
xo


Love Me Tinder-ly

Posted in eharmony, Find Love Now, finding my happiness, first dates, First Love at 37, gratitude, Happy New Year, Love, Love Actually, new beginnings, okcupid, online dating, Tinder, year of dating fearlessly by

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!!!
Hope you’re all enjoying a wonderful holiday season!!
Heading back home to Colorado soon, with my fingers crossed for a white Christmas, and figured I’d share a lil update on the dating scene…
oh, I should do a “Best of 2013” list, hmmmm that could be fun! ~ stay tuned for that one 😉

So, where were we?
Ah, yes, I was having some self-discoveries & decided to step back from the fun fling guy…
Logical next step ~ Speed dating!
Packed up the car with water, snacks & lipstick in preparation for my journey to the Westside.
The evening’s event was being hosted by a few Meet-up groups & was taking place in an alehouse that sounded like a cool place to check out.
Also figured it was good to change up the locale, check out the Westside male offerings 😉

It was fun.
Met some cool ladies prior to it starting, which is always the case, (there’s a lot of great single gals out there, c’mon guys!) 
We chatted as the men started to arrive. All anxiously wondering if this is the night we may meet “him”…
Wellllll…
 It was a very diverse group, which is cool, there’s a type for everyone.
I, myself, met 15 men in LA I did not need to know further.
I totally enjoyed our “mini” dates, conversations were good, but I was having trouble getting past the basic starters.
I wasn’t going deep & hard-hitting with my questions. I wasn’t revealing much about myself either. 
And, yes that is challenging with the allotted 5 minutes.
I’ll admit I may not have been at my “A” game, but I was out there….

Funnily enough, during the evening I got a text from Mr Fun in the Meantime.
I hadn’t heard from him in a while.
I will say I had never reached out to say “I’m moving on”, kinda just figured that we were that casual to fade away…
Nope  ~ boot-ay text mid-speed dating!
Its always so interesting to me how they “sense” the interest shift away from them…no, wait, remember me, we should hang out again, or at least tonight…

Decision time
Answer OR ignore the text?

I went with Answer. If I’m going to date w/dignity, I gotta answer.
Played it cool, sussed out the situation, definitely was a boot-ay text.

Decision time
Have some fun, cuz none of these 15 guys panned out OR honor your desires for a real relationship?

I decided to respect what I had already learned & not to go down that path again that ultimately left me lonelier than before.
I told him he was a great guy, enjoyed hanging out but I’m looking for more than what he’s admittedly willing to give.
**a HUGE moment for me!! Speaking my needs, even if/when its scary** 
 He totally respected it, said I was awesome, enjoyed all our dates & wished me well.
It felt so genuine, that it caused me to pause…maybe? maybe he is a cool guy & I’m giving up too soon?
Thankfully it only took me 2 seconds to catch myself. He wasn’t saying he wants what I want, he wasn’t trying to convince me to give it a go, he was just being a great guy, validating our time together.
Done…next?

So I think I may have ranted previously about the latest dating app that everyone seems to be doing & how I couldn’t imagine doing it…
yeah well, I’m doing it & LOVING IT!

I think it was my Pilates instructor relating it to video poker that I began to see the FUN in it. I was being way too serious about it before & viewing it as just another vehicle for possible rejection seeing as its so visually based…
Screw that! Its a riot & seriously addicting!
Its like winning in Vegas when you click “yes” on a profile & you’re a match, a new screen pops up, your pics roll together & voila – a match! 
If only the sound of coins chinging happened, that’d be perfection – jackpot!

I’m currently taking the stance of sitting back & letting the men contact me first 
(which is texting via the site)
My rationale is that my “liking” of your profile shows my interest, step up to the plate, let’s see what you’ve got…
In the future I may reach out, but so far I’ve got too many conversations to keep track of… 

Being a week in to the game, I’ve already had some pretty fantastic dates!

Cocktails in a log cabin

Disco Christmas drinks & laughing the night away

To a 2nd date that had adventure written all over it that I couldn’t say no to, no matter how scary some parts sounded
(you’ll laugh at what scared me)
This guy is pretty intense, knows what he wants, direct questions, digs deep, is spontaneous, & fun ~ I kinda dug him.

For the 2nd date his plan was ~ Motorcycle ride…Hollywood Hills…cocktails, dinner…fireplace

Oh yeah, this sounded GREAT! Except the fireplace part scared the bejesus outta me!
Never been on a motorcycle before, did that scare me? Noooo!
Exhilarate me, yes! The nervous scariness of that is a rush in the moment.
And the fireplace can be that same exhilarating rush too, & even better WHEN its with the right guy…but c’mon this is date 2, let’s just have fun, keep getting to know each other…

The ride through the city & the hills was AMAZING!!! Cutting through the crisp air, flashing past the holiday lights, holding tight, leaning in to the curves, the rev of the engine, picking up speed, passing the cars & off in to the open – oh my god!
Yeah that’s a rush!

Dinner was a surprise, 
I had no clue what to expect since I don’t know his tastes well enough, or at all really.
Well, from racing through the streets of LA, we shifted to completely different gears and had the most delicious 5 course tasting & pairing dinner that was so exquisite I don’t even know how to describe it.
Oh I wish I had a menu to share, each course was a food I had never had before and was sooooo amazing!

Truly an adventure at every turn on this date!

Its crazy how fast 2013 has gone!
 It has been a whirlwind of emotions, of men, of self-discovery.
Its been a year I wouldn’t change for the world, all the good & the bad, through it I have gotten to this wonderful space where I truly love my life & everyone who’s in it!
I’ve learned so much from all these dates, more about myself, more about what I desire, what the ideal partnership looks like for me & most importantly how to be open to the process of falling in love again.
From the Asst director to the Architect, the 50year old, to the sweet young 30-something from Texas, and all those in between, you’ve touched my heart this year & I thank you!!

I am beyond excited for the new year ahead & am claiming 2014 as the Year Of Dating Fearlessly!!
And who knows, but its looking likely that I’ll experience my FIRST KISS at midnight this year!
xoxo
Have a safe & happy holidays!! Here’s Percy Faith with “We Need A Little Christmas”
Enjoy!!!

It was bound to happen…

Posted in believer, dating, faith in dating, finding my happiness, first dates, First Love at 37, happiness, okcupid, online dating by
Looking for love online does come with its risks, I mean you are talking to complete strangers.
Why do we so easily open up to them, to the idea of them as a mate?
Its not like we’re handing out our numbers & hearts to every guy who walks by in the grocery store. In person we seem to be a lil more guarded with our hearts, but online we gaze at their pics, we read their words, exchange some emails & all of sudden a fantasy of what life could be like with him is dancing in our head.

We hold their well crafted words to be truth, their pictures to be the “everyday” version them, & not a well lit, best angle snapshot that is not reality from most angles.
And well, it finally happened…
the “inaccurate photo” guy finally showed up.

Mr. Pics & I mutually “chose” each other on OkCupid through their “Quick Match” system, where they give you a lil glimpse at each other’s profile’s & you give star ratings ~ lucky for us we each gave the other 4 or 5 stars.
Emails announcing your mutual interest are sent, let the connecting begin…

A couple of rounds of emails, a request for my number, the ring of my phone & the fun begins…
Completely shocked that he rang a mere 2 hours after asking for my number, I figured I HAD to answer the phone & I was really glad I did!
Turns out he’s a very talkative type, which is great for me (I’m a good listener-type).
We chatted for a coupla hours, yes hours(!), & when we hung up I actually said out loud “well that was fun”.
I couldn’t believe how enjoyable our conversation was ~ it had been a while since I was intrigued by a man and what he had to say. He was funny, took risks, loved what he does for a living, shared similar interests ~ I couldn’t wait to meet him.

We decided to meet on Sunday.
He offered to come my direction (points for him, especially considering he’s a West-sider)
I couldn’t tell with the options he threw out there ~ cafes to bars, what exactly kind of date we were going for.
We ended up with the bar/restaurant option based on their great patio, but chose to meet a 4p (?) – is that a late lunch? Early dinner? Drinks only? Who knew what this date held…

He was definitely manicure worthy, I mean I had been looking forward to meeting him all week. I had my favorite dress on, my best smelling perfume, I was feeling pretty & couldn’t wait to meet him!

We both arrived at the same time, and since the place was virtually empty at that hour, he was easy to spot, except that he looked nothing like his pictures ~
easily 30-40lbs heavier than presented online.
Yes, his profile said “a lil extra”, which his pics somewhat represented, but…

After the awkward hello’s & we immediately went to the LA standard safe topic – traffic!
As he got our drinks, I noticed his entire back was wet with sweat & as we sat and talked he continued to sweat for another 15 minutes.
My mind wandered to activities we could be doing in the future & wondering how much he’d be sweating.
I mean, he got out of a BMW, so I know he had air conditioning, if crossing the street caused this sweat, I could only imagine…

The date was fine, he’s a talker, like I said, so I learned alot.
Has roommates, 2 other guys – they call it their halfway house for divorcees (lovely)
Still not divorced (great)

As I sat there I kept questioning myself & how superficial am I???? 
Yes, we were not meeting up on other points too, but if we were “connecting” could I get past the extra lbs?
And if I expect him to be leaner, how can I judge with my “soft” spots?
I’m not a Sz 2 model/actress type that roam the streets here ~
who am I to be picky?
Maybe I should accept what interest is shown to me & get this done?

What wins out in the end?
Attraction?
Personality?
If we want/expect to be attracted to our mates, must we live up to that standard we’re setting for them?
This has really left me spinning & questioning myself, how dare I judge him when I’m not perfect? If I want a lean man, should I assume he’ll want the same & I need to diet more?

This experience, on top of the previous half dozen, has left me wanting to take a break.
A friend says she’ll only let me take a week off, but I’m not sure if that’s enough time for my heart.
I’m tired of being alone, but lonely & disappointed is worse.

I’ve recently started back to a job I thought I enjoyed, but in a matter of days I’ve seen myself crash. The grueling hours have sucked any joy I had for it out. And with these hours, I have no time for myself, my business or my dating life.
I do this job to support my business, but I’m left pondering if I was to give up my business, then my financial stresses will feel some relief, then maybe I can find a job with humane hours?
And if I give up my business, why stay here in LA?
Maybe to find the love of my life, I need to move on…
Am I willing to make finding LOVE my priority?

I used to think I loved what I did for a living & loved my business, but I’m beginning to wonder if they’re safety nets to hide in?

I’m too tired to answer these questions right now, but they’ve got me thinking.
I’m sending prayers up.
Maybe its time to move on
xo

Mid-week musings

Posted in 30 Rock, dating, faith in dating, Find Love Now, first dates, hopeless romantic, how bout we, Liz Lemon, okcupid, online dating, summer of yes by




Alrighty, I’m a month into the Summer of YES, thought I’d check in & give y’all a lil update.
I will say that saying “yes” keeps one’s calendar quite full!
Between friends, family, travel, OkCupid & How bout we?, life has been one activity to the next.

My month on How bout we? is up & here’s what I’ve learned from this dating site:
~While the site’s intent is to get you offline quicker & out dating, it’s like pulling teeth to get the men to actually ask you out, still lots of emails pinging back & forth…boring, let’s meet up!
~ Men love the “Intrigued” button…c’mon, man up & actually start a conversation!
~ Men love to put wildly creative 1st dates up, which is quite a fantastic insight to their personality, but has yet to have been the actual 1st date.
~ Women put realistic dates like “let’s go for coffee or a drink” 
(which has been what the 1st dates have actually been at the man’s suggestion funnily enough)
~ Silly screen names are abundant
~ Like most other sites, some conversations just fade away, never to be heard from again
~ Men in their late 50’s still think they’ve got it
(I am & will always be impressed with men’s confidence levels)

While it was fun, I’m logging out of How bout we? for now. 
Heading back to work & figuring time will be limited, I might as well hang out with my good ole freebie pal, OkCupid 😉

Round up of dates from the past month: 3 guys, 7 dates
Guy #1 (OkC), oh you also know him as Chandler Bing, popped back in so unexpectedly that I found myself saying yes before I realized who I was talking to ~ but I said YES!
For our 2nd date, we were gonna hit a story slam that I wanted to go to, but I tend to forget that we live in a city of millions, so if I hear of an event chances are pretty good that at least 2-3 million also heard about it, so with a line weaving around the block, we did not get in…which really was too bad since we’d now be forced to talk over dinner. 
The food was amazing (love finding a new good Mexican food spot!) & with 2 margaritas in me I was fine to let him ramble on about doing background work (mind you, I thought he was an asst. director).
I think we all know there’s no more to this story…

Guy #2 (How bout we), caught my attention by pointing out 2 of my likes ~ he wears glasses & enjoys movies.
He recently turned 50, kinda my cap on the older man range, but thought I’d be open to it since we seemed to have similar values & interests. 
First date was fun, good conversation, & he’d picked a cool spot to meet up ~ all encouraging things.
2nd date ~ the eyeglasses stayed on the table the whole time, learned about all the diet restrictions to help lose the few lbs that have crept up since the 5-0, couldn’t really answer why his marriage ended, & kept the date going for about an hour & half too long. 
Bad date topics started coming up as we searched for conversation, learned alot during that segment of the date 😉
Wanted to try again for some silly reason & accepted Date #3.
Beautiful restaurant, very romantic, delicious food.
Wished the entire time I was there with someone else.
Things were said, true colors shown & it was confirmed we’re not a match.

Guy #3 (How bout we), took about 20 emails to get him to set up a date, which he did by emailing over his # & saying text me in the morning to make plans…ah such the gentleman.
I’ll admit that set the tone of very low expectations on my part. 
So when I texted him & he suggested a thai restaurant, I was pleasantly surprised & said yes.
Then I realized he never said a time to meet or sent over the address, a link, nothing.
Being self sufficient, I yelp’ed it, got the address & saw that it was closed.
Dilemma – share this info or let him learn the hard way? 
I figured I’d see if he’d ever set a time & catch this bit of info himself, & if I hadn’t heard from him as I left my earlier party, I might mention it via text.
Hours later I get the text saying its closed & scrambling to find a new spot, all while I’m at the party he knows I’m at & he keeps texting! (One thing I hate doing is being on my phone when out with friends, so rude!).
Picks a bar in the middle for both of us, which ends up being Silverlake.
Obnoxiously loud music & waaaaaay too hipster-y for me.
He’s a director. Most of the date he was very LA douche-y, name dropping, etc. 
Turned human when he talked about his boys.
But when conversation ran out mid-way, he grabbed my head & pulled me in & started kissing me.
Now it had been a while & I was really really missing kissing, so I gave in, to try him on.
The thing is when you do that, then realize you don’t want to be kissing him, it gets really awkward as he keeps trying for the rest of the date…
**GUYS – if you’re gonna kiss on the 1st date, wait til the end, let it build! Better yet, leave her wanting you & don’t kiss til the 2nd date** 
Felt way too violated to give him another chance.

In my 20’s I used to kiss all sorts of guys, but now I really want to be attracted to them as a person first. 
I love kissing, I do. I miss it, but making out just for the “sake of kissing” isn’t all that fun anymore. 

Oh, I almost forgot about Guy #4 (OkC), I’m meeting him for drinks on Friday.
His profile sounds great, he bakes delicious goodies ~ of course “yes” let’s meet up.
He’s a producer of entertainment news & so far our phone chats have been more interview style, but for now I’m writing it off to work-mode…we’ll see…


Now I don’t take these seriously, but I saw this week’s horoscope & could help wishing for a lil truth in it…
I think you & I both know the answer though after the above re-cap 😉
Pisces (February 20-March 20)

Paddleboarding, anyone? The Leo sun lights up your sixth house of health for the next month, calling forth the wellness warrior in you. Last week you sneered at a friend’s tireless green smoothie Instagrams, this week, you’re firing up the blender and asking her for tips on making kale. Romantic Venus cruises into your commitment zone from Monday through August 15 sprinkling serious relationship fairy dust all over your love life. Time to have The Talk, Pisces. 


I’ve been re-marathoning with 30 Rock lately & enjoying the beauty of Liz Lemon. 
She is unapologetically herself & everything out of her mouth makes me laugh!

The hopeless romantic in me is still clinging to the idea of magical first dates, getting lost in each other where the world around you disappears, falling passionately in love…but with the current date situations & Liz saying quotes like these, it makes me kinda wonder…maybe I do “just want to start a relationship 12 years in”…



Lemon out ~
xo







Love blossoms

Posted in first dates, flowers, Love, surprises by
A Summer surprise

Guess who surprised me with these beautiful flowers as I opened the door? 😉


Ladies, what are your thoughts on receiving flowers?


I used to be a subscriber of flowers falling in the “trying too hard” category…but maaaaaybe that was because of the giver?


I’ve NEVER appreciated flowers on a first date, definitely too much! 
Are you making a move? Trying to win some points? OR are you really just being kind & generous & I’m too skeptical? 
Unless you really know the gal, 1st date flowers are a NO in my book!


Of course, the hopeless romantic in me, swoons & says awwww when I see it in the movies, so how come in real life I question the motive?


I’ve gotten in to the habit over these past few years of buying flowers for my home each week, to add a lil color & make me smile as I enter a room. 
I started doing it to show myself that I can treat “me” well & that I didn’t HAVE to wait around for a man to send me some (which ironically I’d have been suspicious of…listen I know, I make no sense).


I’m glad I did learn how to listen to my lil joys & give in to them, but I will say, receiving flowers from a guy you’re totally crushing on ~ no better feeling in the world!


Surrendering to my silliness & off to go smell my pretty flowers


Cheers ~







FIRST DATE XO?

Posted in first dates, Love, Marni Battista, okcupid.com by
Modern dating 😉

The day had finally arrived to meet in person. 
We had been chatting for a couple of weeks via okcupid & now the time had come to actually have some voice-on-voice, face-on-face contact – oh dear god!


We had figured out Thursday, but the “where” part not so much…
He offers to come my side of town (a very chivalrous move in a large traffic-filled city!)
A move I would’ve said “no” to prior to Marni, I always liked a middle ground meeting spot, with an easy exit strategy, but I was gonna play by her rules, god help me, so I said sure come to my area.


Now not being familiar with my area, he suggests I pick a spot. 
Oh my god – the pressure! Where I picks reflects so much about me – am I hip? In the know of the coolest spot? I don’t wanna go too expensive, but NOTHING corporate chain-like…I wonder what he likes? I freeze!
I message out to all my girls – any good spot recommendations for a 1st date? Low-key, casual, cool?
I’m getting no responses back.
I’m totally leaving him hanging, but I’m working on it…really
I email him late the night before with no options, I failed
His response, somewhat jokingly “Nothing like leaving a guy to sweat it out over here” (oops)…we go with his assistant’s suggestion “The Griffin”, a groovy local bar I had been wanting to check out (& completely spaced on)- YAY assistant! Give him a raise!


**A lil side note, he apparently got razzed by all his friend’s for putting the ball in my court, which is probably why he swooped in & saved the date. I guess they were saying it put me in an awkward position, BUT I did see his reasoning, it totally made sense to have the local girl pick the spot. It was all my own self-imposed angst causing my trouble 😉


We’ve got the day, the place, all we needed was the time – 6pm he suggests. 6pm really? Huh, kinda early, but I guess if its a dud, we cut our losses & salvage our own respective evenings. Done – the date is on!


I got all dolled up (a skirt, some heels ~ finally a tall one I could wear heels with), mad-dashed it to get a mani, got the manicurists  all involved & excited for me, I mean their work could be helping me find love!
I was actually REALLY looking forward to this date!
**sorry, another lil side note, ladies ~ dress like a lady, something that makes you feel pretty, no jeans! Have fun embracing your femininity! I’m just sayin…


I’m cutting it close to the 6 at this point, pulling out some mad driving techniques, I can’t be late.
His 1st glimpse of me ~ reversing crazily down a residential street, a quick smile & a wave, yep he saw that it was me…


Surprise ~ we have the whole bar pretty much to ourselves – 6pm who knew? I love it.
We grab a drink & cozy into a corner. The conversation just flowed, we laughed, we drank, ate some, talked more…next thing you know its almost midnight!
I haven’t had a date this great in who knows how long!
I think I like this guy 😉


Walks me to my car & is ever the gentleman, he gives me a hug goodnight, that’s all, a long warm hug.
Oh man I want to see him again!
I hope he feels the same…