Category Archives: believer

A New Year has Begun…

Posted in 2014. happy new year, believer, dating, Find Love Now, First Love at 37, happiness, hopeless romantic, Uncategorized by
photo 5

My view on my birthday morning along the Santa Barbara pier. The Sun returned after days of glorious rains, the bright blue sky went on for miles & the ocean breeze filled my lungs. Couldn’t have felt more alive!

Its a lil crazy to think that I’m 40. I oddly haven’t had any trouble swallowing the actual number this year, but it still feels kind of abstract. I can remember as a child when my parents hit their 40’s & I couldn’t imagine being that old & yet now I feel so young.

I’m very excited for this new chapter. There’s been a lot of change swirling about & I can’t wait to see what unfolds! Seems to be lots of goodness…

Since it’s a new year, and the last blog title didn’t fit anymore, I figured it was time to jazz up the new blog, get a new host, a new title & a new style ~ a fresh start for 40!

Twirling Skirts is about enjoying life, being in the moment ~ if you feel like ‘twirling’, then twirl! For me, this year is a year of embracing who I am, without worry of the judgement of others. Come along on the ride as I continue my search for love & discover me in the process

To start this off ~ here’s my TOP 40 for 40

  1. Wear RED lipstick
  2. Star gaze (at actual stars in the sky)
  3. Smile at strangers
  4. Take a wine class
  5. Less pants, more dresses
  6. Be open to possibilities
  7. Visit Portland
  8. Laugh daily
  9. Dance in the rain (probably possible while doing #7)
  10. See ART, in any form, each month
  11. Put my toes in the sand more often
  12. Write more
  13. Enjoy nature, go for more hikes
  14. Let miracles happen
  15. Picnic with friends
  16. Dance!
  17. Read a book a month
  18. Make time for doing ABSOLUTELY NOTHING
  19. Send out pretty cards for no reason other than I’m thinking of you
  20. Enjoy good chocolate
  21. Hug more often
  22. Talk more, text less
  23. Date fearlessly
  24. Take a cooking class
  25. Get out on a boat, its been way too long!
  26. Keep my body in motion
  27. Share
  28. See more live music
  29. Try learning French (again)
  30. Believe in love
  31. Have faith in God’s plan for me
  32. Enjoy being in my ‘feminine’
  33. Get out of the country, again its been way too long
  34. Trust
  35. Kiss passionately
  36. State my needs
  37. Adopt/rescue a dog
  38. Attend a retreat (yoga, writing, anything) somewhere tranquil
  39. Hold hands
  40. Enjoy delicious things, guilt-free

Let the adventures begin!!  xo

photo 1

Gorgeous blooms out on my hotel patio. Everything felt so clean & fresh after the storm. If even for one night, I had the dream ~ being able to be outdoors while at “home”

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Everywhere I walked I saw beauty!

photo 3

Just brilliant! Art, wine, music…all within block of each other. My kind of hiking!

photo 2

One of the stops on my ‘trek’, a converted tire shop with the most delicious wines, cool tunes, along with beautiful photos and art on their walls ~ Oreana Winery is a fave

                   

It was bound to happen…

Posted in believer, dating, faith in dating, finding my happiness, first dates, First Love at 37, happiness, okcupid, online dating by
Looking for love online does come with its risks, I mean you are talking to complete strangers.
Why do we so easily open up to them, to the idea of them as a mate?
Its not like we’re handing out our numbers & hearts to every guy who walks by in the grocery store. In person we seem to be a lil more guarded with our hearts, but online we gaze at their pics, we read their words, exchange some emails & all of sudden a fantasy of what life could be like with him is dancing in our head.

We hold their well crafted words to be truth, their pictures to be the “everyday” version them, & not a well lit, best angle snapshot that is not reality from most angles.
And well, it finally happened…
the “inaccurate photo” guy finally showed up.

Mr. Pics & I mutually “chose” each other on OkCupid through their “Quick Match” system, where they give you a lil glimpse at each other’s profile’s & you give star ratings ~ lucky for us we each gave the other 4 or 5 stars.
Emails announcing your mutual interest are sent, let the connecting begin…

A couple of rounds of emails, a request for my number, the ring of my phone & the fun begins…
Completely shocked that he rang a mere 2 hours after asking for my number, I figured I HAD to answer the phone & I was really glad I did!
Turns out he’s a very talkative type, which is great for me (I’m a good listener-type).
We chatted for a coupla hours, yes hours(!), & when we hung up I actually said out loud “well that was fun”.
I couldn’t believe how enjoyable our conversation was ~ it had been a while since I was intrigued by a man and what he had to say. He was funny, took risks, loved what he does for a living, shared similar interests ~ I couldn’t wait to meet him.

We decided to meet on Sunday.
He offered to come my direction (points for him, especially considering he’s a West-sider)
I couldn’t tell with the options he threw out there ~ cafes to bars, what exactly kind of date we were going for.
We ended up with the bar/restaurant option based on their great patio, but chose to meet a 4p (?) – is that a late lunch? Early dinner? Drinks only? Who knew what this date held…

He was definitely manicure worthy, I mean I had been looking forward to meeting him all week. I had my favorite dress on, my best smelling perfume, I was feeling pretty & couldn’t wait to meet him!

We both arrived at the same time, and since the place was virtually empty at that hour, he was easy to spot, except that he looked nothing like his pictures ~
easily 30-40lbs heavier than presented online.
Yes, his profile said “a lil extra”, which his pics somewhat represented, but…

After the awkward hello’s & we immediately went to the LA standard safe topic – traffic!
As he got our drinks, I noticed his entire back was wet with sweat & as we sat and talked he continued to sweat for another 15 minutes.
My mind wandered to activities we could be doing in the future & wondering how much he’d be sweating.
I mean, he got out of a BMW, so I know he had air conditioning, if crossing the street caused this sweat, I could only imagine…

The date was fine, he’s a talker, like I said, so I learned alot.
Has roommates, 2 other guys – they call it their halfway house for divorcees (lovely)
Still not divorced (great)

As I sat there I kept questioning myself & how superficial am I???? 
Yes, we were not meeting up on other points too, but if we were “connecting” could I get past the extra lbs?
And if I expect him to be leaner, how can I judge with my “soft” spots?
I’m not a Sz 2 model/actress type that roam the streets here ~
who am I to be picky?
Maybe I should accept what interest is shown to me & get this done?

What wins out in the end?
Attraction?
Personality?
If we want/expect to be attracted to our mates, must we live up to that standard we’re setting for them?
This has really left me spinning & questioning myself, how dare I judge him when I’m not perfect? If I want a lean man, should I assume he’ll want the same & I need to diet more?

This experience, on top of the previous half dozen, has left me wanting to take a break.
A friend says she’ll only let me take a week off, but I’m not sure if that’s enough time for my heart.
I’m tired of being alone, but lonely & disappointed is worse.

I’ve recently started back to a job I thought I enjoyed, but in a matter of days I’ve seen myself crash. The grueling hours have sucked any joy I had for it out. And with these hours, I have no time for myself, my business or my dating life.
I do this job to support my business, but I’m left pondering if I was to give up my business, then my financial stresses will feel some relief, then maybe I can find a job with humane hours?
And if I give up my business, why stay here in LA?
Maybe to find the love of my life, I need to move on…
Am I willing to make finding LOVE my priority?

I used to think I loved what I did for a living & loved my business, but I’m beginning to wonder if they’re safety nets to hide in?

I’m too tired to answer these questions right now, but they’ve got me thinking.
I’m sending prayers up.
Maybe its time to move on
xo

Ahhhh the Sweet smell of Summer has arrived….

Posted in back in the saddle, believer, dating, Find Love Now, First Love at 37, happiness, hopeless romantic, Marni Battista, new beginnings, online dating, summer love by
Wait, what??! It’s June??!!
 Yep,  the days are longer, the sun feels warmer, & the birds are chirping really early in the morning, I think its here…
That familiar sense of endless possibilities is surrounding me, hugging me ~ mmhmm yep, that’s that SUMMER feeling 
 & this year I couldn’t be more ready for some summer FUN!!

Life has been pretty hectic these past few months & I’ll admit it was a welcomed craziness! I dove head first in to work, into my business, & into anything to avoid feeling my way through my heartache.
And it worked for a while, but when I came up for air the heartache was still there…
I knew I needed to face it, but I knew I needed help.

So, as if I wasn’t busy enough, I enrolled back in with my amazing dating coach, 
Marni Battista. 
I knew no one would tell me straight up like it is & make me believe in myself enough again like she could! With her previous coaching, I had experienced my first true love, but now as I was experiencing my first true heartbreak I needed guidance to get out of the fog.

It has truly been a roller coaster of emotions these past few months & as a reformed “frequent avoider” of facing my feelings, it has been scary, uncomfortable & exhilarating!

Two summer’s ago, Marni & I finished up our work together & out into the dating world she sent me ~ a more confident & self-loving version of me.
And it worked! 
Once I had learned to love myself & saw the goodness I could bring to a relationship, the men started showing up.
A particularly wonderful man caught my attention quickly & it lead to an amazing summer!
(I’ll save you from all the stories, but if you want to read’em they’re at http://firstloveat37.blogspot.com/ )

We lasted a year. 
Maybe the timing was off, maybe it ran its course, I can only speak from my experience, that it will always be a year I treasure & hold close to my heart.
I learned to love & be loved and it was beautiful.

Needless to say that lead to the not-so-best summer of my life last year…

Now that we’ve circled around to another summer, I am ready to love fully, madly & deeply again!!!
I’m excited to be back writing again & will be sharing all the fun adventures, mishaps, & insights that dating at 39 brings!!!

I am taking on this summer with an open heart & an open mind!
Love could be anywhere!
Yes, I’ll be looking online, maybe going a round or 2 at speed dating, meet-ups, you name it ~ it’s all going to be about being out LIVING A LIFE I LOVE!

That being said, I am also open to meeting any fine gentlemen you may know. 
If you know me & know someone who you think may be a good match, why not introduce us? 😉

A couple of friends have done just that & it been fun meeting new men.
The 1st guy was my “getting back in the saddle” guy, there’s always gotta be that guy, right? 😉
It was fun to be out connecting, flirting, conversing, but not a match.
This 2nd guy is very nice…we’ll see… 

I feel lots of adventures await & you’ll get to be along for the ride!
Stay tuned.
I’ve gotta run ~ a BBQ at the beach is waiting

SUMMER IS HERE ~ CHEERS!
xoxo