Is it the caffeine or you making my heart beat faster?


Ok, so since we last chatted, there has been another blind date ~ 
#2 for those keeping count 😉

Our introduction came through a very dear friend & she knows my penchant for nice guys, so it was a no-brainer. 
Thanks girl!!
We already knew he was nice from im’s, texts, & brief phone calls (so many ways to communicate these days w/o ever meeting – crazy!!)…now came the actual face to face time!!

Let me set the stage for you ~ 
I seemed to have passed the “starter communication” stages & he asked me if I’d like to grab coffee or lunch during the week?
“Sure,” I say, “I’m working & my schedule can be a lil unpredictable, is it ok if we play the when/where/how by ear?”
He was totally cool with it, flexible – 1 point for #2
I will forever appreciate a guy who’s cool to roll with the punches of my work hours, cuz I can sure as hell get cranky with my lack of control over my schedule 😉

Soooo coffee or lunch turned into a phone call from me at 8:30p saying I was free, still interested?
I had brought my cute dress to work, make up, heels ~ I was ready!
Figuring at this time of night maybe, just maybe, it’d turn into a drink instead (cuz I really needed a glass of wine to unwind…not coffee)

Nope, brightly lit Starbucks it was.
Now this fact started a flurry of questions in my head ~ most importantly, is he a 
non-drinker?????
I know it may be wrong to judge on this life choice, but I have visions of long, romantic wine-tasting weekends away together and I want to SHARE the experience with my man, not have a designated driver!

He asks me to text him when I park & he’ll come meet me
Gentlemanly?
Or LAPD protective-mode behavior? 
(oh, did I mention he was a cop, now K-9 bomb squad?)

Starting to see how I over-think or analyze everything?
I think I need to hit the “pause” button on my brain sometimes & just enjoy!!
Oy!

We grab our coffee (decaf!) & head out to the patio to enjoy the beautiful evening
Did you know they close it at 9?..
Back inside we went til we got kicked out 9:30!!!
It was a quick date…

Not quite enough time to gather a lot info…you KNOW I still had questions 😉
Do we share similar interests?
Was there any chemistry?
Or was it my macchiato jacking me up?
Does he drink? (yeah, funnily that didn’t work its way into conversation on our 25 min date) 
Would I want to kiss him?



Only way to answer all these questions ~ a 2nd date…

Except I think for all the questions I was having, the actual answers truly laid in me trusting my intuition.
I really didn’t “feel” like we were a match, buuuuuut a lil doubt kept nudging me ~
How do you know?
Maybe you’ll learn to find him attractive… 
*(he actually is a very nice looking gentleman, but reminded me of my uncle – couldn’t go there)
Maybe he was nervous?
Maybe I’m hiding behind excuses?
Why should I trust my gut? Its track record ain’t the best

Of course I didn’t keep these questions to myself & asked for other’s advice on how they “knew”?
I got a lot of “it took 6 or so dates, but he grew on me”, “1st meeting he disgusted me, 19 years later I couldn’t be happier”.

Is it wrong to want to be excited for a 2nd date? 
To have giddy butterflies in your stomach?

I’ve been studying lately about energies & what we put out to the Universe.
Its pretty amazing what others can pick up even if you’re not aware of the exact message you’re sending.
So, wouldn’t the 2nd date in theory already be a bust if you’re not excited about it?
Can you fake the excitement in the “getting to know you” phase?

Can he tell if your faking it? 😉

Alright, let’s just cut to the 2nd date ~
Yes, he asked me to dinner
& I agreed – are you kidding, I needed answers!

I think the BIGGEST answer came a couple of hours before our date.
He texted to say hi, & set our plans.
Now, I had gotten off work early (a fact I didn’t feel like sharing with him) & popped by a local outdoor mall to get some design inspiration.
Turned out he was actually there too.
I did an about-face & bolted to my car so fast it was not funny.
Not a good sign, right?
I could try & blame it on the fact I was in the same dress I had worn to our coffee date
(oh the horror of him seeing me in it twice -ha!)

But if I was truly looking forward to it, I would’ve admitted I was there too & possibly had a fun impromptu afternoon/evening…

I’m sure you’ve probably gathered by now that the 2nd date didn’t see fireworks. 
I will say it was a perfectly lovely evening.
He was gentlemanly, talkative, attentive.
He’s a great guy, just not my guy…

 My inbox lately has been  full of messages on “how to attract mr right”, “what makes guys choose you”, “find him before summer ends”…its a summer dating bonanza & they all entice you from your place of want, & punch you in your place of lack.
I find with each one I open I’m questioning my greatness & who I am. 
I must FIX myself to achieve these desires.
While their messages say “if love yourself & he’ll love you” (truly the best advice I’ve ever heard!), they also say you need to follow their steps to find success in love.
Are you trying to change me?
I’m confused.

I think I’m going to hang-up the self-help for a bit & just try
to be ME.
We’ll see how that goes 😉

First up, speed dating tomorrow night!!
Stay tuned, I’m sure there’ll be stories!!
xo


Appropriate, no?


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